thoughts collide

Who’s to say that when we’re awake, we’re really not
dreaming in actuality? Cause, if anything I’ve learned of
“reality”, its that truth is diluted and skewed into fantasy.
I use to consider myself a realist but the realest thing I
could ever experience came via my dream while I slept one
night. Someone I’ve never met in real life made manifest
before my eyes. Came to life right before my eyes. Did I dream
her into life? Or am I still asleep, if so please don’t
wake me. She stared with confidence as I sat at the
edge of consciousness trying not to move, afraid that if I
flinched I just might lose the only thing that ever made
sense to me. I’d verbalize the intensity, but words could
do no justice to how I felt when the percussion of our
hearts so rythmic; when the stars fell
from out of the sky and into our window with us to shine in
our moment of unity. Then with one hand I motioned her to me
 like I’d miss my only opportunity to reach out and embrace
God’s greatest of plans and there may never come an
additional chance. With elegance she came; her brown skin
glowing like a phosphorus stone in the opportune light.
Without hesitance, placed her hands into mine and right
in that moment into the sky, a new moon was born into the
night. Here on the ledge I swore I had died and went to
heaven or reverted back to being seven the way she breathed
innocence back into me with a slight crack of her immaculate
smile. Like a child, butterflies fluttered around in the
depths of my core, untainted by trial and war; unrestrained
by the pride and sin I had once before harbored within. &
that my friend is what I call the definition of liberation;
breaking free from civilization to redesign a new foundation
for love. No limitations, only trust as far as we take it
solely because, we make the laws, we are the nation and our
only salvation lies within us. So she smiled with her eyes
as I stood up, no longer fearful of slipping into
consciousness. I placed my hands upon her hips and felt the
weight of the world lift from off of my shoulders and drift
into the distance. With no resistance we closed our eyes and
collided into each other like animalistic lovers who just
broke free from an eternity of separation; our lips only
disengagin’ to inhale the presence of angels who fell from
the heavens to serenade us with their acceptance. Even time
was present as it stopped for a moment solely to witness us
light up the night with this iridescence of emotion; our
love the most divine of all hues. I’ll never again vow to
pledge allegiance to anything but God, our moon, and you.
With that said, eventually I fell off the ledge of fantasy
and woke up in bed to “reality”, a place where YOU do not
dwell. Well, not exactly. See, when I said I never met “her”
in real life, what I really meant was…without her disguise.
‘Cause this beautiful queen that appeared in my dreams had a
voice that would ring all too familiar to my ears. & all I
couldn’t stop thinking was this thing you once told me in
silence. This thing you said in your mind and under your
breath but those three words I’ll never forget; you said,
“Maybe next lifetime.” & that’s when I realized after all
these years that I’m not living life… I’ve been living in
fear. Here it never occurred to me that this place I awake
to day after day may solely be a world of insecurity holding
me hostage in my own subconscious. Here where the only thing
I’ve ever wanted seems virtually impossible to attain. Call
me insane, but I’d like to believe in the slightest
possibility that this thing we all call reality, may
actually be nothing more than a dream. So, ye of little
faith if you’re listening… trust none of what you hear and
only half of what you see; understand your fear and the
truth will set you free, for everything in life isn’t
always as it seems.

-Dee